How to handle kids birthday party that your child was not invited to.?
My children play with a family of children in the neighborhood on a weekly basis. Tody while out in the yard getting ready to mow grass my children come and ask why there are so many cars in the yard of their "friends". We notice that everyone getting out of the cars are in bathingsuits and it dawns on me that this week was the 2 now 3 years old’s birthday. The house is crawling with other children all running and squeeling. We have invited and they have attended all of our parties. Why would our "friends" do this to our children? How do we explain to our children that it is ok and they are still friends? What do we do when they want to play tommorow?
My children are 3 and 4. There children are 3, 4 and 6. My kids were more than curious they were upset. My husband was mowing grass I was playing with our children. But yes I am offended b/c I am their babysitter and I considered us all to be close. It is more than family, other neighbors are there.
shank a nigga
That really stinks but I am sure there is a valid reason your kids weren’t invited. No one can invite everyone to a party, and maybe it isn’t a birthday party.
I would just smile and be polite and act as if all is okay. There’s nothing else you can do.
I think you’re taking this whole thing too seriously. You didn’t mention how old your own children are, but it seems to me that they’ve got to be older than 3 if they’re able to play outside while you mow and ask questions about the neighbors. I would assume that this party is for the 3 year old’s friends (daycare?) or maybe even just a family party. Some people don’t like to mix their different worlds (work, family, friends, etc), and that’s perfectly okay.
If your kids are upset (because it sounds more like you are and they were just curious), just explain to them that sometimes people have parties for different groups of people and that they maybe didn’t want your kids to feel uncomfortable around a bunch of people they don’t know. When they want to play tomorrow, let them. Kids are resilient. We could all learn from them.
That’s awful!!!! I can only assume that they "forgot" to invite your kids. I would definitely let their parents know that you saw the cars and heard the kids squealing. Ask the parents how the kids enjoyed their party, do it in a polite friendly way with no malice in your voice (very hard I know!) But don’t pretend that you didn’t know there was something going on this weekend just so they don’t feel awkward – they need to realise that their actions have been noted!!!
To save your kids being hurt you will have to tell them a "white lie" about why they weren’t invited. You should still let them play tomorrow after all it’s not the kid’s fault they have ignorant parents and you can be a better person than them. Just make sure you don’t let them think you didn’t notice.
Good luck xx
there is only 1 thing to do is get over it and move on and who said life was fair life isnt always fair. but talk with your kids if they feel bad.tell them there will be other parties they will be invited to.
Oh that stinks I am sorry. You said it dawned on you that it was the 2 y/o party. Well that means she must of told you in the past. Since y’all are so close do you think she just thought you would automatically come over and not need a formal invite. I would wait and give her a call. It may not be anything to make a big fuss over. Maybe just an oversight. I hope things work out for the best.
I think you have every right to be upset. I would ask them when they come over tomorrow if they had a good party and see what they say. Just act like it didn’t bother you. Shrug it off like you guys had a good time too. Obviously they are not as good of friends as you thought they were. I think it’s very rude, but what can you do? Maybe later, after everyone leaves, walk over there with a gift for the child and just see what they say. Tell your kids that they were having a birthday party (tell them the truth) then tell them that you guys didn’t go over there because they ran out of cake or something. Don’t let them feel rejected. Good luck!
If you value their friendship, I would simply take a birthday card over for the child (another day) and smile and nod it off. Is it worth losing friends over? Chances are they will feel bad about not inviting you if you’re nice about it, and they will invite you all next time. Good luck!
I would not say anything to them. There could be a variety of reasons you were not invited – maybe it was just a family party, maybe they just invited kids from their school, etc…. It does sound a tad odd to me that you were not invited, its possible maybe the invite got lost or the neighbor assumed she had told you but hadn’t, etc. Either way, if you say something, you could be setting yourself up for an extremely awkward situation, you need to decide, is it really worth it? If you’re going to say something, I would wait until you see the mother next, then say casually "wow, looked like you had a zoo of kids the other day"… something to that effect. then see what she says.
I would simply tell your children its a family party, my kids at that age wouldn’t know the difference. And I would continue to play with them, there is no need to punish the children over whatever decisions the parents have made.
Did the parents mention anything at all about the birthday party before? You remembered it was the 3 yr old’s birthday, did you remember because you were reminded 3 weeks earlier? Just curious, I know it’s easy to forget sometimes, and maybe they just assumed you guys would show up, no invite needed because it seems like the two families have a lot of interaction. Have you seen the other family since the party? Have they talked about it at all?
You could casually go over and say you noticed they had a party, and ask how it went. That would get the conversation going, and they may just blurt out "why didn’t you guys come??" and maybe they’re sitting over there wondering why you didn’t show up. You never know about things like that until you just ask, don’t accuse anything just yet.
Also, are you sure this wasn’t just "family only" party preceeding a friend party? Did you actually see the children’s other friends over there? Take a closer look at the situation, and if indeed they are just being rude, you may want to limit time with them, because the only people they are hurting are the children.
Maybe it’s just a family get together and not a birthday party.
Also, I have loaned out my home to friends and relatives who wanted to have a party but their place was not big enough. It which case it wasn’t my party just my home so I didn’t do any inviting.
"Wow." that’s very bad naighbors,If I were you, I never would allow my son to play with that kids. maybe the problems are not those kids, I think are the parents kids. so you do it the same, you don’t let your kid play with them.
call and ask it’s probably just an oversite or lost invite (call now while the party is going on)
they could be wondering why you are out playing and not at the party
seeing as there are other neighbors there it’s probably an oversite
go over there NOW
That was rude- really rude!
I would talk to the mom about it…and tell her how upset your kids were. You babysit for them, the other neighbors were there.
You could start off with, "_____ the kids and I noticed that you had a birthday party for ______. I am wondering if there is something wrong because my kids were not invited."
Change it up the way you want…but has something happened between the 2 of you that you can think of?
In any event, it was a rude occurrance.
I am sorry that happened to you and to your kids.
kids should NEVER be punished b/c of something between adults thats just sad . Assuming there is a problem between them and u guys….
If i was u id call and be like wow u got alot of ppl over there is something wrong? need any help?
if they dont want u there id take ur kids out for the day so they dont have to watch it and feel so down. poor things:(
and when ur child as a party id still invite there kids b/c kids arent the ones that need punished for adults behavior (now that u knoiw how bad it feels to be left out im sure u dont want others to feel the same way )
so sorry about this some ppl are rude:(
I would be offended too. I wonder if they just assumed you knew about the party. I cant imagine why you wouldn’t be invited, the kids play together alot and you live right down the road.
At this point I would ask….walk over there and say is there a PROBLEM.what did we deserve to be ignored.AS for your children explain that this was a family party.and that u will hrow them a friend party in two weeks the kids will only hear party at our house and they be happy…
Good luck
gawd………..thats really mean!!!! i dont know what i would do!!
it may have been a simple over look. truly. i did that one year and felt like an a$$. but dont worry. no need to draw attention to it. play tomorrow like nothing happened. its not worth ruining a good neighbor friendship. keep inviting them and just stay on the same track. good neighbors are hard to come by. even if they did not mean to invite you it should not be taken personal. could have been family only or money or daycare friends only. just keep the kids friends and the neighbor friendship strong.