Meals for a family of 3-4, good wholesome meals, family meals, how to be a housewife? a good mother?
Hi, I didn’t have the middle class upbringing that most middle class families provide their children. I never learned to cook multicourse meals which were decently low cost but still good and healty like some of the girls I knew growing up did. I am trying to learn how to be a housewife you know cooking cleaning, games for my kids activities for the family to do. We have 2 children ages (girl)2 years and boy 6 mo with a baby on the way. We have a dog, and own a house which I am working very hard to make a home. I need tips on how to be better. I never learned much beyond throwing whatever the food bank gave us together to make a somewhat meal for my siblings and I, how to sew, mend, and scrub things down with bleach. I had a under the table job at 12 and basically didnt have time to figure these things out. What do you feed your families? days when you are home with little time, plenty of time? What do you clean with? What do you do as a family? when do you do laundry?
Do you wear a special scent? Use a special detergent? When do you shower? My husband works from 6 am to 4 pm or so. What special things do you do for your husband(or wife or significant other) to make them feel top of the moon. My husband is quite old fashioned, he doesn’t help with housework much and I don’t mind at all. But how do I make a schedule for everything that has to be done? I only have tues thru fri as he has a lot of Mondays off. I have the hardest time getting it all done. Do you pay bills online or via mail? I only have tues thru fri as he has a lot of Mondays off. Any suggestions? Do you play games as a family? How old do kids need to be? Do you have movie nights?
How do you do a date night? I don’t leave my kids with sitters ever? When should I feed the kids to make mealtime still family time but them not be cranky? Again any menu ideas I do not have much of an idea and any suggestions work great we love veggies and grains thank you all. Also how often should I instigate sex? I just have no idea what is normal and he never does. Oh and when should I serve dinner? And give kids a bath?
saving lives…
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not to be a short answer to a long question, but these guys are great at everything you mention, very practical and encouraging.
please check them out!
the main suggestion I have concerns meals
shop everyday, buy fresh things
just buy for that day plus maybe an item or 2 for the next one
get some kinda veggies, some meat, and some kinda potatoes or rice
pay attention to quality, and spend some time cooking them right, no spuds in the microwave for example
start off by: signing up for a parenting class, ask at the welfare office. or hospital they should know.
my mom had 8 kids. this was our routine.:
get up at 6 or 7am no later than 8am.
get breakfast: cereal for young ones, or fruit-grapes: orange juice.
wash them up then give them toys to play with in a safe place(you can watch them too.) wash up the dishes(any soap will do, just buy one and see what you like)lots of trial and error. you can make mistakes.
8 or 9am games to play: 2 year old like: hide and seek, scribbling is fun. books (read to both kids) teaches them to love books. dr seuse books we had. simple ones.
patty cake, simple games is fun. bubbles are fun on summer days.
about 11 30am- start lunch- 2years olds eat small sandwiches: peanut butter, apple(cut in tiny pieces,) and juice, (apple juice or chocolate milk)
the baby you can’t put that a time table yet, the baby will tell you when they want to sleep, eat. until the first birthday.
about 1pm or 2pm put 2year down for 2 hour nap, don’t have to actually sleep just lay down and have quiet time.
while the kids sleep or play on own- do 1 load of clothes, play and then do another load.
4pm. start dinner: example: chicken(cut up for 2 year old but keep whole for parents.), mashed potatoes(kids loves this), green beans
try and have a meat, potatoes, rice or noodles, and a vegetable, and have the kids milk or juice no pop( not good)
have husband play with 2year old while you clean up dinner. and he can give 2 year old bath and maybe the 6 month old too.
7pm have quiet family time for kids to sleep by 8pm.
8 pm till 10 or 11pm. your time with husband.
grocery shopping, 2 times a month. yes, take the kids with you. (my parents did) make a list of things you are out of.
stuff to clean: soap, tooth paste, bath soap, laundry soap, : won’t matter what kind or what scent, just try one, write down how much you have to spend on groceries , separate list for the monthly bills. have your husband help with making these lists. how did you buy your house if you don’t how much money you had to spend on house payment and life things to live.??
as a family we watch tv. but with toddlers they like to play with their parents.
so I suggest contacting your local hospital or local welfare- human services department where you live and sign up for parenting classes, so you can learn to parent. can only teach so much on computer, but YOU actually have to learn it as you go.
what did you think when you got married, got a house and got pregnant? didn’t you and your husband ever talk about finances or how you 2 were going to live together and how to do these things?? talk to your husband.
I agree with the first answer.
Flylady is awesome. I was a complete slob until I discovered her.
My family also loves Saving dinner (lots of people from Flylady use it, they are friendly).
They help with cleaning, scheduling and how to put your family first.
As for date night- you absolutely must find a sitter for your kids that you trust. Your relationship with your husband is very important to keep your family life stable. You also need some time for your self. One or two days a week, for just a few hours will do wonders for you.
As for sex- you need to talk to your husband. Does he want you to initiate it or does he want to? How often? How much do you like it? Sometimes it is easier (but not spontaneous) to schedule it so that actually happens.
Good luck with being a SAHM. I am one too. It is very rewarding, but hard.
flylady is wonderful!
sounds like you could also use a real, live friend in person to talk to. don’t know if you go to church – that’s a great place to connect with caring people. also, a parenting or exercise class, or something to just get you out there. volunteering is good, too.
i agree with previous advice – as hard as it is, it’s important to be able to entrust the kids to SOMEbody – for your own sanity! work into that one slowly. find a co-op preschool, maybe? where all the parents take turns helping.
remember, too — you should have a plan in place for what to do with the kids when it’s time to delver the third!
feel free to email me if you need someone to ‘back and forth’ with
Wow. You have a lot of questions. It sounds like you really didn’t have a parent to learn from. Congratulations on your children. It sounds like you are a great mom and want to be the best wife and mother you can be. Remember none of us are perfect wives or moms.
There are really no right or wrong times to do things. It’s whatever works best for your family. Your kids are young so I would suggest eating dinner at 5pm since your husband gets off work at 4pm,. YOu should try asking your husband to play with the kids while you get dinner ready.
Go to the bookstore or library and get a cookbook. You can also go online and look up recipes and check out Kraft website. There are 1000’s to choose from and many are very family oriented. Two good cookbook I use that have quick and low cost meals "Cheap, Fast, Good" by Beverly Mills and Alicia Ross, also look into a crockpot cookbook called "Fix-It and Forget It" by Dawn J. Ranck.
A slow cooker or crockpot is a great thing to use. You can put all the ingredients in it in the morning , turn it on low and leave it on the counter and forget about it and then dinner is ready by in about 6-8hrs.
Laundry: If you have two small children you will be doing laundy all of the time! I find it easier if each child has there own dirty laundry basket. Don’t beat yourself up over getting all the laundry done and all the cleaning done. Taking care of 2 small kids and being pregnant is exhausting. If both kids nap at the same time then you could do something like fold clothes or pick up their toys. If they don’t nap at the same time put on a movie for your 2yr old while the baby sleeps and do some laundry or clean. Or take a nap with your kids, your body needs to rest.
Cleaning Supplies: You don’t need anything fancy. Vacumn, sponge mop and bucket, broom and dustpan, old rags, paper towels, dusing spray like Pledge or Endust, Windex window cleaner, Lysol (or other brand)Kitchen Spray Cleaner-good for spraying on countertops to get rid of germs, Lysol(or other brand) All Purpose Cleaner -mix with water for floors, toilet, bathtubs, sinks, Bleach, toilet bowl cleaner and toilet brush. Febreze is also nice for spraying on your couch, chairs and bedspreads to make them smell nice. Try sprinkling carpet powder like Arm N Hammer on your rugs before you vacumn.
Activities with your kids: I don’t know if you have a car or drive, take your kids to the local library. Library cards are free and there are usually lots of activities you can do with your kids-all free. They also have parenting magazines like Child, Parents, Parenting that you could look at to get ideas.Also check out your local YMCA if you have one. they have low cost programs or you may qualify for free membership. Take walks with your kids, go to the park or playground. Invite your neighbor who has small children over for coffee and a playdate with the kids. Try reaching out to people around you.
Sex: There is no right number of times to have sex per week. It’s a lot less than you think. You’re home all day with two kids and are pregnant so I’m guessing you are pretty tired. Whatever feels right for you and your husband then that’s fine. Maybe you dont’ always need to have sex but just need time alone together to talk and snuggle. That alone could put you both in the mood.