Party Invitation for 2nd marriage couple with their own children?
My new (Jewish) wife and I have two kids each. Mine are a 15 and 12. Hers 13 and 1. They receive many invitations to Bar/Bat mitzvahs and several have come addressed as Mr and Mrs Jones, Cindy and Robbie Smith (my wifes children).
Should the invitation include my children?
Should I attend and leave my children at home?
Thats correct, my children and I are not Jewish. I have suggested to my wife that I wouldn't go and she feels that wouldn't be fair to her.
Generally, regardless of faith, it is considered polite to ask all individuals residing at the home to a family event, if you are asking any.
Even if they only reside at the home part of the time, they should be included.
However, if the invites are coming from people who might not know the names of your children, you can't really hold it against them. (This can and does sometimes happen when families blend)
It might be that they thought that you would not want your childrenn to attend if you are of a different faith, and they felt they were being polite not to put you in that position. I would not take it as an insult or as a personal affront to you or your children.
Generally, if someone was left of the invite (like if all the children were left off), it's considered poor taste to call and ask if you can bring them anyway.
However, seeing as children are involved (and the other children were invited) I think it would be within the boundaries of good etiquette to either call yourself, or ask your wife to call, depending on who knows the host family better.
Are you and your children Jewish? It doesn't sound like that is the case. If not, then there is no reason for you or your children to be invited or to attend. Unlike Catholic and other religious rights of passage, the Jewish faith likes to stick to their own kind for such events.